When I sometimes spend as much time as I do not learning more about the new guy interests I have I feel depressed and discouraged because I am needing the sense of belonging I get when I talk to guys and share their interests because I value such connections. Would I be willing to plan to watch at least one movie or listen to at least one new band tomorrow and take it from there?

would I be willing to put at least one application somewhere like stew leonards?

When I see pictures of UFC fighters that are (not in very good shape) that have bigger muscles
than I do and doing complicated karate moves I feel depressed & discouraged because I am needing reassurance that people in my environment will express encouragement and that their will be more high-quality lower-sugar healthy food than unhealthy food in my environment that will promote health & fitness. Therefore I'd like to try to plan to try the MMA free-trial & UFC fitness video game to see if it increases my productivity towards these goals.

what am I telling myself thats making me angry, that lorraine and leanna and others are trying to make me feel jealous of buff bagwell, & hollywood stars est. That is a diagnosis. Take more responsibility for your thoughts. When I recall what lorraine said to me I feel resentful, bitter, & angry because I used to feel jealous of buff bagwell, est. & I am worried that when I hear statements like you never had a sexual encounter est. I might feel jealous again.

When I imagine myself w/ a lot of guy friends i fell depressed and discouraged bc i am needing reassurance that i will have enough common interests w/ them that they'll want to hang out w/ me on a regular basis.

I feel frustrated, depressed, and pessimistic about the use of aggressiveness is assertiveness because I am needing choice/autonomy/to pursue big things like college from my own volition.

marie: you put this (pineapple) on the mold.
me: your worried about the mold.
marie: no I told you...
me: you wold like me to be aware of the danger of the mold.
marie: no I already told you a million times.
me: you would like me to aknowledge that you already told me about the dangers
of the mold.

I should prove to bruce & everyone that my strategy is "right" or that I am "right".

when I recall and hear rantings about money and adulthood that I think to myself they are cynical and closed-minded. I feel very tempted to either avoid people with those thoughts entirely or start yelling at them or saying passive aggressive statements to them.
I feel angry and pessimistic because I am needing the self-empowerment and encouragement I once
had observing different inspiring characters. Therefore I'd like to try to plan to experiment through
trial & error w/ different strategies to see if I can

I should have been more asseritve or just left.
I should have known how to communicate differently
I shouldn't have not gone to bartending school for those 2 weeks in the first place.
I shouldn't have ranted to leanna to the degree that I did.

what needs were not met by the choice you made?

emotional safety
 support
accountability
companionship
contribution to others
self-respect-respect for others
autonomy

what needs were you attempting to meet by the choice you made not to finish and to argue with
them in a passive aggressive way?
protection, safety, emotional security, authenticity control, order, nurturing, self-empowerment,
autonomy, self-worth
When I recall the way I responded to the statements lorraine, and my family made to me.
I feel angry, insecure, bitter, disgusted, guilty, and disappointment
because my needs for respect and to be heard and understood and to understand others and compassion
were not met.
would I be willing to

regrets
 I should have spent more time practicing wrestling/weight lifting
I should have taken more advantage of opportunities to talk to guys ie added mike figeroa
on facebook.

what needs were not met by this choice


acceptance
harmony
intimacy
communication
warmth
self-worth
autonomy


what are your ofnr in the present moment.

When I recall...instead of talking more to these guys, I feel depressed and dissapointed. I need to be accepted (by guys in particular) and connected.
would I be willing to at least try to spend a little more time studying guy interests that way I might be more likely to be successful in a future opportunity?

what needs are you trying to meet when you tell your ex-therapist no no relationships only art est est.

emotional safety, peace, respect, self-respect, control, order, certainty.
would I be willing to at least consider trying to try to experiment w/ other ways to meet these needs other than the strategy I've chosen?

I hate when I'm late for work every other day.-
translation-I love it when I'm able to get to my bus stop early & to sign in to work on time therefore I'd like to try to plan to take steps to positively reinforce that habit.

I give lorraine permission to feel just as she does and say just what she said and for me to feel just the way I do and to have said just what she said.

she says really mean and horrible things to me.

I love it when people talk cooperatively/peacefully over an issues.
They don't want me to commit to things voluntarelly

I love it when I am able to motivate myself torwards an ambition and that motivation is encouraged
by the people around me.

you shouldn't feel so sensitive to what your therapist is saying to you. You should feel comfortable with
someone talking about sexual encounters by your age.
If you can't handle someone saying something like this how are you gonna handle someone saying something worse in the real world? your so weak your not strong.

you shouldn't because you have to be strong and proud all the time and you have to not care about sex and relationships and money and make sure you always have to express to your family disinterest in those things.

You've done all this reading and you can't even handle someone saying something like that to you, you'll never get stronger.

Boy when she said those statements and I responded with such feelings of shock I felt so discouraged I was really hoping I had been stronger than that. It would be really easy for me to give up on myself but I'd like to try to continue trying other strategies to

When I notice insecurity in myself I sometimes feel discouraged and hopeless because I am needing the self-worth I

I choose to avoid expressing much interest in money because I want to avoid the possibility of my family not taking my artistic interests as seriously as I would like.

Your selfish and greedy for wanting sympathy for not having relationships and blaming others. Lots of people don't have those things

http://www.thefreelibrary.com/Using+E-Prime+and+English+Minus+Absolutisms+to+provide+self-empathy.-a0145561487

You spend a lot of time tending to your own needs and not the needs of others.

you are

I'm lazy-I don't work as often as leanna does and leanna has a higher degree than I do.

translate judgements into concrete observations

leanna is mean and judgemental-leanna hasn't said anything I thought to be encouraging to me in 6 years.

what is alive in your now?
You shouldn't be laying hear spending hours everyday feeling sorry for yourself, nor should you be complaining about how you feel to others you should be doing more things and you should have done more things by now...translate these judgements.

are you feeling anxious that I won't finish the program?

You want to feel confident that all the hard work your doing in these appointments are making a positive difference?

when I hear statements that I interpret as/think to myself are demands I sometimes react in ways that I later on wish I wouldn't react in/feel dissapointed in.

I sometimes choose to not follow their instructions because I want to avoid the possibility that they might believe/that the way they expressed their statement is an effective way to gain my cooperation.

I cannot recall relationships ever making me happy.
instead of relationships have never made me happy.


I'd really like to be more aware of relationships, masculinity, and certain types of athleticism.



When I spend more time on the computer & in my head daydreaming than I do on the activities I'm assigned (I chose to do rather than I have to do) I feel dissapointed and depressed because I have a need for efficiency and to be respectful in my agreements with others.

boy do I feel jealous when I see characters like don jon I'd really like to be more aware of men him and the qualities that he has in myself. It would be real easy to start. I'd like to plan to spend more time doing activities like MMA to try to

first before you try to translate your judgements say take your time take your time take your time to
yourself.

boy when people sometimes say judgements about ...
I feel really insecure and hurt because I would like some more sensitivity and understanding of how
much pressure these situations put me under. It's real tempting to stay quiet and continue my long-time
habit of talking to myself in the way that I've
been talking to myself/make angry statements about the situation to myself but I'm confident that I
won't end up happier than I've felt in the past therefore I'd like to try to plan to spend
at least a little more time than usual to try to volunteer, practice NVC, and do therapeutic exercises
like yoga and take it from there as I don't see what I have to loose by trying.

boy that teacher is really boring it's really tempting to continue to daydream but I feel worried that
this could turn into a bad habit and I'd like to have
clarity and ry to at least
try to pay attention to meet my need for c

you shouldn't express much of your emotions positive or negative around theresa

I choose to not talk to theresa


I chose not to finish bartending school because I wanted to try to convince my family and myself that money isn't that important to me.

I choose-I have to
I might-I should

I should have finished bartending school.
I might have been happier if I had finished bartending school but I sometimes do things
that I wouldn't have done if I had known what I since have learned.

what am I feeling? What am I needing?


what am I telling myself?

from now on it's all day all the time just art and that's it and if your not one hundred & fifty billion percent
supportive of that then you can't be a part of my life ever 24/7, 48/14. Just that & that's it.

jackal turned inward-your a just a lazy selfish manipulative liar you just want money and sympathy/pity.
avoid using impersonal pronouns to avoid using guilt inducing language.
ie I feel because you


I was disgusted because you were trying to force me to care about relationships.

I chose

It don't believe that assertiveness requires aggressiveness.

It infuriates me when people use aggressiveness rather than assertiveness torwards me because I want to be a calm person/because I value peaceful relationships and would like to find a different way to resolve conflicts.

it infuriated me when you said my life sucked without sexual encounters because I was hoping to avoid worrying about such things and I heard what you said as you forcing me to worry about it/because I was
telling myself that you were trying to force me to care about it against my will.
because I was hearing what you said as a demand to care about such things.

because I was hoping that nobody would try to convince me to care about such things and I was hearing that many people were trying to compel me to do so.

because I was hoping that you would be more considerate of what I want.

I feel infuriated because I hear your words as an insult and I was hoping you would be trying to help me.

jackal turned outward-your all stupid and ignorant cause you think that all there is to life is money.
well you know what a degree is just a piece of paper. It's a dead tree.

http://www.ayahuasca-wasi.com/english/articles/NVC.pdf

“They made me sit there without moving

for a whole hour” – denial or responsibility.

“I chose to sit there without moving for a

whole hour because I wanted to try out the

teacher’s instructions.” - NVC

Replace “I have to”

with “I choose to”,

and “I should” with

“I might

I didn't finish bartending school bc lorraine and my family made me feel horrible by telling me about money

and how horrible of a person I am.

I didn't finish bartending school because I chose to respond to what my ex-therapist and my family said

by not following their instructions.

“People who hurt others deserve to be punished.” – deserve

oriented language

“I’d like to see people who hurt others be given the opportunity to

make amends for harm they caused because I value healing and

restoration of trust.” - NVC

Lorraine deserves to suffer for what she did to me.
I'd like to see lorraine given the opportunity to make amends with me for the harm
she caused because I value healing and restoration of trust.

I do it because I want art that that's it.

I'd like to pursue art because I value art and the ability to make my own choices.